Destiny Destroyers: Renouncing Regret
As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. - 2 Corinthians 7:9-10
Regret. We have all felt its pain but few of us understand its deadly effects.
Paul said to the Corinthian church that repentance leads to a salvation that is without regret. One way to read this could be that repentance leads to a life and destiny in God that is not diminished by the presence of regret. Regret is the opposite of reconciliation. It is a false repentance. Repentance puts our faith, trust, and hope in the finished work of the cross, and brings healing and restoration. Regret keeps wounds festering and raw, with our past always present with us.
When Jesus died on the cross, He reconciled us to the Father (2 Cor 5:18). He did this by making “him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” In making Jesus sin on the cross, Christ was not only dying for us but as us and we died with Him. Sin was not something we did. Sin was something we were by nature. Paul in his letter to the Ephesians clarifies this for us, “And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world [g.k. comos], following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience-- among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.” When Jesus took upon Himself the sin of the world, He not only took upon Himself all that we’ve done, He took into Himself all that we were. Being fully man, He was able to embrace our frame absolutely. Being fully God, He was able to embrace all of creation…absolutely. When He opened up His side on the cross He brought us into Himself and we died with Christ.
What you formerly were has died with Christ on a tree.
He went into the grave and came out three days later, resurrected and glorified. When He came out of the grave, we were reborn or “born from above” (John 3:5) and we now have the nature of the Second Adam, the man from heaven. You are not a little better than you used to be, you are a new creation, totally different.
For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. ... Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:14-15, 17
Through this perfect work in three days in Jerusalem, He is both just and the justifier of all who would believe in Him. In six hours on the cross, Christ not only reconciled you and me to the Father but the entire cosmos.
That is, in Christ God was reconciling the world [gk. Cosmos] to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. - 2 Corinthians 5:19
To reconcile means to restore relationship, to bring into agreement or harmony, and to make accounts compatible and consistent. Jesus put a credit in our account called “His life” and “His righteousness” and it is sufficient to zero out every withdrawal from our wholeness. Every deficit that sin, wounds, brokenness, and loss left us with has been filled in Him and in Him, every provision has been made for our wholeness. He has reconciled you and will fully reconcile heaven and earth when He returns.
He is not only reconciling your person, but he is reconciling your history, your ancestry, and every component of your story with your new identity and using it for your destiny. When I say “your destiny” I mean: To be a wholehearted lover of God and a lover of people (Matt 22:36-40), to be conformed into the image of Jesus (Rom 8:28), and to walk out God-ordained assignments that He has prepared beforehand for you to walk in (Eph 2:10). God’s plan for you wasn’t just to save you from burning but to graft you into the vine, fill you with life, and cause you to bear fruit that would bring Him great glory in the earth. Satan is seeking to sow seeds of darkness in our lives, hoping that we will water them and let them grow into trees that will bear fruit that will not glorify God, and thus work against our destiny.
By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. - John 15:8
Because you have been reconciled, and because He is reconciling your history in order to catapult you into your destiny, regret has no place in the new creation. Godly sorrow produces repentance. Repentance is a change in the way we think/believe that produces different actions. When we repent, we reconcile our mistakes and failures with the finished work of the cross. They are “zeroed out” by the blood of Jesus. The enemy wants to co-opt our Godly sorrow and insert a false narrative that will cause us not to repent but to regret. You could say regret is a false repentance. The enemy wants to cause us to dwell in a sorrow that Paul calls “worldly grief”. This kind of grief or sorrow produces death. How does it produce death? It keeps us from being present in the moment and moving forward in our God-designed destiny. Regret is designed by the enemy to stall you out by enslaving you to a past season. Regret can create a soul-tie with our past or younger version of ourselves by enslaving us to what could have been, what could have been done, what could have been said, what could have been different, what potential was lost.
Regret is a destiny destroyer.
Regret can cause us to fantasize about another destiny other than the one we are currently walking out in the grace of God. When we haven’t allowed God to reconcile our history with our identity, we don’t move forward in our destiny; instead, we fantasize about another destiny, a false destiny. We create alternate versions of ourselves that made different decisions, walked a different path, didn’t receive wounds, stood up for themselves, and grew up under different circumstances. These versions of ourselves created by regret are stronger, more successful, liked by everyone, farther along than we are now, competent, courageous, skilled, etc…the list goes on. The problem is, that person doesn’t exist. The only destiny you have is the one you are currently walking out. The only version of yourself that exists is the one staring you back in the mirror. The only way forward in your God-ordained destiny is to be present in the current reality with Jesus.
Satan is trying to get us to believe in false destinies; to tie our souls to things other than those which come from God, the Spirit of Truth, and the grace of Jesus. He is working to sow seeds of regret in our lives so that we stay enslaved to past seasons, younger versions of ourselves, or alternate fantasy versions of ourselves. This will destroy your destiny.
When we live in regret, we hinder the healing flow of God in our own lives and in those that we are called to carry it to through the ministry of reconciliation. When regret has taken root in our soul, we are mainly aware of the negative narrative concerning a past situation, not God’s redemptive narrative. When we speak about it, or people that were involved, we compulsively speak negatively about it or them. We find ourselves saying things like, “I’m so glad that season is over,” “I never want to go back there,” or “I wish it could have been different.” When we haven’t forgiven others, or forgiven ourselves for the choices or decisions made, we cannot live fully in the assignment and ministry we’ve been given now. God wants to redeem every part of our story and use it for His glory.
Is regret operating in your life? Is there anyone you need to forgive? Do you need to forgive yourself? Is there anywhere you are carrying the disappointment of a past season? Is the past season holding you back from fully embracing the present? Is there any place in your heart where Godly sorrow has crossed over into worldly sorrow and regret?
It’s time to renounce regret and get on track with your destiny.
