Every morning, as my roommates and I close the heavy iron door to our apartment, we are greeted by the cool winter air and the silence of an empty street. The clear morning light sweeps over the tops of tightly clustered buildings, and the smell of freshly baked bread fills the air. It won’t be long before the streets are flooded with people and the sounds of the city come to life. As we continue to walk, motorcycles and mopeds buzz past us. Shopkeepers and vendors open their doors, and cafes start to overflow with hungry customers. The call to prayer sounds as we push past a mass of pedestrians and turn into the entrance of an unassuming building. Quickly and quietly, we make our way toward the back and up a dark stairwell. We’re headed to a little prayer room tucked away above the noise.
A year ago I was living under a strong performance mentality, and I was trapped in wrong mindsets that had been lying undercover for years. There was a ceiling, a box, that I couldn’t seem to break past. I wanted to go further, but I didn’t know how. At the same time, because of fear of failure and insecurities, pride was beginning to creep in, and I was beginning to form a way of relying on my own strength to compensate for the feelings of weakness. In the process of growing ever busier, new mindsets were beginning to take shape around already existing dysfunctional ones. I was stuck, and the problem was that I was unable to see that I had a problem. But Jesus saw, and he had every intention to help me.
When the opportunity came to go to the Middle East with MAPS Global, I was all in. I had had the Middle East in my heart for a number of years. I was excited, but little did I realize that the Lord was about to take me through a deconstruction process. Suddenly I was brought face to face with my own shortcomings. The zealous “yes” I thought that I carried, in reality, wasn’t even there. Just like Jesus’ disciple, Peter, who thought he could commit even unto death was challenged, so were the weaknesses in my own heart. It was in this place the Lord began to show me the power of love; the power of His love.
In the book of John and in the Song of Solomon, we see the examples of Peter and the Shulamite woman. Both had history with the Lord, and in both stories there came a point where they were challenged to say yes in a place of weakness and brokenness. Both were fervent lover’s, but both were unable to carry themselves in their own strength. The beauty in each of these stories is that Jesus came to them. After Peter’s denial, Jesus came to him and asked him, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” Peter answered Him, “Lord, you know all things. You know that I love you.” The truth was, Jesus did know. In Song of Solomon 5, the Shulamite lay in her bed. She had become complacent in her pursuit of her beloved, but the King knew
their history of love. He knew she loved him, and so he came and knocked on her door. Her response was to rise and open the door for him.
Jesus knows that even in weakness, when there is nothing to give, love is still willing to say yes. Already knowing our hearts, He comes to us and presents the challenge: “Do you love me?” He knows that we love Him when He asks this, but it’s easy for us to feel disqualified when our performance doesn’t match our expectation. However, we cannot forget Jesus’ reply to Peter’s response. “Feed my sheep.”
The Lord desires for us to partner with him in His kingdom work. He wants to send laborers into the harvest. What’s amazing about this is that He’s not looking for those who will say yes because they feel qualified or feel strong. Weakness does not disqualify you. He’s looking for those that will say yes because they love him. He says, “I’m the one who will finish the work that has been started in you. Do you love me? Because if you do, I’ll help you through your weakness.” We need to remember it’s His strength that is perfected in our weakness.
When I signed up to go to the Middle East, my heart felt dull and weak, but Jesus heard my yes, and He reached out. He qualified me. Now, every morning, as I make my way through the city to the prayer room, tucked away above the noise of the Middle East, I am reminded that I’m here because Jesus said yes to me. I am reminded that I’m here to continue to cultivate a life of intimacy with the One I love, and I am reminded as I look through the window of our little sanctuary over the city, that I’m here because Jesus is saying yes to the Middle East.
http://mapsglobal.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/March-4.jpeg32704898MAPS Adminhttp://mapsglobal.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/MAPSLOGO-01-1030x488.pngMAPS Admin2019-03-08 18:39:382019-03-08 18:39:56Jesus said yes to ME